


surviving is easy (living is hard)

by miss_universe



Series: Writer's Month 2019 [10]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Heavy Angst, Marriage of Convenience, Rape Aftermath, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 12:37:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20192413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_universe/pseuds/miss_universe
Summary: Jaime shouts out, "Sapphires!" in an effort to leave Brienne untouched.It doesn't work.Writer's Month 2019 Prompt: Day Ten - Dark





	surviving is easy (living is hard)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill for Writer's Month 2019.  
Day ten: Dark.
> 
> Mind the tags.  
A big thank you to my darling friend arielnschmidt for proofreading this for me. ily lil gf.

He shouts “SAPPHIRES!” and tries to persuade Locke to leave her untouched.

It doesn’t work.

She screams for what feels like hours. He hopes she took his advice. He hopes she is dancing with Renly, or looking at the blue of Tarth’s waters. Perhaps they are even finishing their fight before Locke and his men arrived.   
  
When they drag her back, her eyes are glazed. Blood drips and dries from her collarbone. Her shirt is torn. Her lips are split, she has a black eye, and there are jagged pink nail marks on her cheek.    
  
But one of the men is yelling that she bit off the tip of his cock, and he notices some of them have bite marks that are also dripping blood.    
  
She fought back.   
  
Her eyes meet his, and they are as blue as sapphires. She sheds no tears.   
  
Then they drag him back, and he screams because his hand  _ his hand his hand- _

  
  
She cares for him on the road. She wipes his beard clean of vomit and she wipes his ass when he shits himself. She even cleans his cock, but she goes away inside when she does. He can tell. It is a distant thing, because he is away inside too.   
  
He stops eating. She tells him to live. He does.   
  
She is in a tub, and she curls up into the corner as best as she can with her big body and he tells her he will not harm her, that he is not interested, and it is almost true.   
  
Somehow the words about King Aerys fall from his lips and he meets her eyes and then he falls but she catches him in her arms, and she is shaking from being so close to a naked man but still she does not let him fall. He thinks she is far more gentle than Cersei.   
  
They put her in a pink dress and he rages inside because no one should’ve touched her. They make a mockery of the fiercest woman he knows and he swears that he will get his revenge because a Lannister always pays his debts and in that second he isn’t even thinking about his hand, he is thinking about  _ her _ .

  
  
Locke says they’ll have fun with her. Again. His jaw clenches and he bites back a sharp remark, but he keeps going and prays for the first time in years that the beast will be okay. That Brienne will be okay.    
  
He makes them go back to Harrenhal when he cannot stop thinking about her sapphire eyes.   
  
They threw her into a bear pit and gave her only a wooden sword and she still kept fighting and he thinks that this is what awe must be like, this is what respect must feel like, this is what lo-   
  
He watches with worry in his eyes and a stone in his stomach as she starts to throw up on the road back. Her frame is slowly getting fuller and he sees her wince every time she puts her shirt on and she has to stop to piss much more frequently now. Their eyes meet and they both know.   
  
They finally reach a village with a maester, but he says it is too late for moon tea. If she drinks it, she will most likely die. He begs her to not drink it. He pleads and begs and finally he reminds her of her oaths. She agrees to no moon tea. She asks him how she is supposed to care for a child when she is traveling, how she is supposed to look her father in the eyes with a bastard in her arms.

  
  
He drags her to the nearest sept. The septon agrees only because another has already been dismissed from the Kingsguard, and with no hand, even the old septon can see he will be guarding no one.    
  
She becomes Brienne of Tarth, wife to the Kingslayer.    
  
He sends a raven to his father, saying there will be an heir to Casterly Rock and more to come.    
  
He hopes the child looks like it’s mother. He carefully does not think of his sweet sister or his niece and nephews. He does not think of the poetic justice that is him playing father to another man’s child. But that is wrong.

  
The child in her belly is his now, and she is his as well.

  
  
They grow closer on the road, becoming friends, and he can tell there is something more in the way she looks at him and he knows he is looking at her the same way, but she still flinches when he touches her bare skin. Her nightmares still wake him almost every night, and he still dreams of long golden hair and green eyes.   
  
They arrive at King’s Landing, and he meets his sweet sister once more but she insults his lady wife and scorns her and makes a mockery of everything she is and he denies her kisses for the first time in his life.    
  
Brienne never flinches from his arm.    
  
Cersei grows more volatile and erratic; his son is almost as mad as two kings before him, but Brienne and Sansa grow closer being the wives of Lannisters. Tyrion approves and so does his father.    
  
Then Joffrey is dead and Sansa is gone and Brienne is slowly getting too big to travel. He must choose. 

  
  
He takes his lady wife and his brothers old squire to Casterly Rock, where she gives them a daughter. The babe has blond hair and freckles. He prays she will have blue eyes.   
  
News comes of his son and daughter. He weeps. His wife strokes his hair and her hand does not tremble and she kisses his tears away from his cheeks and it is enough.   
  
Brienne insists on completing her vows. He argues that she is his wife, and now they share a soul and heart, so her vows are his vows, so he will find Sansa and bring her home.    
  
She asks how he will do it with no skill in his remaining hand.    
  
He trains for hours every day and night with Podrick. Once the babe is a year old they leave, hearing that Sansa is now wed to a Bolton. 

  
  
They leave the babe with a wet nurse and tutors and pray they’ll come back for her. Her name is Alyssne. She has blue eyes.

  
They find Sansa and bring her to her half-brother and find that she and Brienne have something in common. The worst thing in common. There are frequent talks in the night around the fire between the two, Pod and himself trying not to eavesdrop.   
  
Winterfell belongs once again to the Starks. Winter has come. The Others are coming.   
  
There is a meeting in the Dragonpit. Neither he nor his wife go. Instead they stay in Winterfell and slowly she explores what she is comfortable with and they touch skin to skin and sometimes she shakes and sometimes she cries. He never pushes her and there are kisses that taste sweet on his lips.   
  
The Dragon Queen comes and Sansa tells her that he is under her protection. He meets Bran and finds not forgiveness but a small measure of peace.    
  
His sweet sister sends no troops. They fight the Others. The battle is long and hard but his wife and squire live. His brother lives. Far away, his daughter lives.

  
  
They leave for Casterly Rock immediately after the war for the living is done, hoping if war between the Dragon Queen and his sister comes they will be home to greet it.   
  
They make it to the Rock when they hear the news that Cersei and the Dragon Queen are dead and the man formerly known as Jon Snow sits on the throne with his sweet brother as hand. King’s Landing either burned in a blaze of wildfire or dragon fire, the stories are jumbled.    
  
Their daughter can now sit up and walk a few steps. She laughs and giggles, and he loves her with everything he has.

  
A month after they first arrived back at Casterly Rock, Brienne starts throwing up in the mornings and cautiously brings his hand to her stomach.   
  
They survived and fought and won and now they will have  _ peace. _

**Author's Note:**

> leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed this fic! i've never written something as dark as this, so i'm not too sure if this is good or not.


End file.
